Christmas Eve

That's How The Light Gets In

Ring the bells that still can ring,

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.

~Leonard Cohn

Pictures in the Smoke

Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine;

The second love was water, in a clear white cup;

The third love was his, and the fourth was mine;

And after that, I always get them all mixed up.

~ Dorothy Parker

I Just Couldn't Deal With Winter

The shadows are shorter now, and the new growth is sprouting on my ivy. Funny how plants know, even before the days are cooler, that fall is coming. I welcome this season change; glory in it. Before I can tire of it, winter will be here.

Autumn is coming on, mellow, and smooth. It is my second season knowing him. How I enjoy the rounding out of the season, and the rounding out of my emotions— and the penetrating diffusion that follows the last blasts of summer heat.

That summer heat was so intense, so draining. Just like my feelings for him then. Feelings so strong they stabbed and fought for release, at times welling up in me and coming out as tears or an involuntary scream. Summer has its value, but it can’t last.

I am reminded by the changing seasons that love must change to grow into something deep and lasting. It must suffer the insults of daily life, the excesses of the seasons, and the less pompous attributes of the human condition. If it makes it through all this, then there is an acceptance of the cycle of love and a welcoming of each successive season.

© Aiyana ~ 1974

This I Know Is True...

Life is a jest; and all things show it,

I thought so once; but now I know it.

~ John Gay

Alternatives

There were times
when dying seemed a good option
to end pain and angst,
always caused by some man.

I learned over the years
just to wait it out because
the pain subsided and time
brought indifference.

And time always brought
another man, and after 1000 days
when the passion had cooled,
whatever pain that came
was cured not with thoughts of dying,
but with a good book and a hot fudge sundae.

~ Aiyana