Saturday, June 19, 2004

Bridge Burning Complete!


This past year I have tried to unclutter my life, not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. I've gotten rid of tons of clutter, downsized my wardrobe, simplified the household paperwork, and hired out undesirable tasks. I've read many books on simplification and organization and now I think I have most of the clutter under control. Almost. Living in this society is in itself clutter producing. It's hard to get rid of it all, and I wouldn't want to. Now I choose what to simplify so that I can clutter up something else that holds more interest.

My position, before I retired, put me in a place where I had to conceive, implement and integrate human resources policies. I had to deal with negative people, negative situations and negative results for much of my career. Having that type of job did not make me a candidate for Miss Popularity around the workplace, especially with those folks who believed that HR's main function was to carry the watermelons to the company picnic, or to plan touchy-feely team building events. Eventually I completely burned out. After years of dealing with so many of those odious types, I chose to clear my head of all that negativity and just quietly fade into the sunset, taking with me a whole career’s worth of awards and mementos that I have since thrown out.

With the decision to leave the workforce I was able, for the first time in many years, to choose whom I wanted to associate with, whom I wanted contact with, and whom I did not. I deleted many people from my "Contacts," blocked folks from "Instant Messenger," and quit seeing the people who got on my nerves. I also stopped keeping up with casual acquaintances and no longer attended their weddings, showers, and parties, (or even their funerals as the case might be) as I had been obligated to do while I was working. Suddenly I was free! No more keeping up appearances for the sake of my position. It has been a tremendous relief. I am free to sit down at the computer and write bullshit all day without a care. I had some qualms at first, wondering if I would be sorry later as I deleted people out of my life. I wondered if I had "thinned the woods" too much. But my fears have been unfounded and I've thoroughly enjoyed my equinimity. Dorothy Parker, one of my favorite writers, wrote this poem many years ago. It captures my carrent state of mind perfectly. Thanks, Dorothy!

Sanctuary
My land is bare of chattering folk;
The clouds are low along the ridges,
And sweet's the air with curly smoke
From all my burning bridges.

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